#084 – Ribbitmy
Ribbitmy, a mom class comfy-type Monommy known for being a bit of an oddball among her fellow comfy-types. While most comfy-type Monommy love to be warm and toasty at all times, Ribbitmy stands out as loving the feeling of refreshingly cool, and above all else, wet. Ribbitmy’s silky smooth skin is almost always wet as she’s often doing what she loves most: swimming. Although she’s very similar to a frog, and rather enjoys the company of amphibians, her skin is not slimy, just smooth. She can be often found in lakes and at the pool, swimming happily along and using her water magic to manifest sparkly rainbow bubbles. Ribbitmy believes that when one is peacefully floating and having fun, the world becomes a better place. When not swimming, she’s capable of leaping up to two hundred feet in the air, and her long sticky tongue can be used to swing from place to place. That said, she prefers to just happily float down a river.
THIS NOTICE PROVIDES VITAL INFORMATION ON AN ANOMALOUS LIFEFORM THAT MAY AFFECT YOUR FACILITY. PLEASE READ IT IN FULL, LIVES ARE AT STAKE.
From the editing desk of Agent Cobb:
The recent epidemic of deadly disasters at sea and airports has drawn the attention of Twin Star, and we have deduced it is caused by a single anomalous organism. The following is to better inform you on how to keep yourself and your workers safe during this crisis.
Anomalous lifeforms referred to as Monommy occasionally produce small squishy anomalous lifeforms the entities themselves refer to as ‘Drops’. As with all reality-altering anomalies discovered in the last two years, little is known about them and their properties are, for the most part, unknown to modern science.
Drops themselves pose no threat to humankind. They still produce anomalous wavelengths and radiation unknown to modern science. I know censors will remove this but I’m keeping it in. We should be being honest, people have died due to us withholding information. Sorry to make this unprofessional but the time has come for this company to wise up.
Despite this, their presence has been proven to attract the presence of their parent lifeform, the anomalous organisms referred to as Monommy. You may have heard of a media franchise centered upon similar creatures. We are aware of the video game and television series of the same name, but our lawyers tell us to note that the anomalous lifeforms are distinct from the media franchise. This is ridiculous. A video game becomes real, we finally have evidence to support it, and we can’t outright say it because of copyright law. We have bigger fish to fry, guys.
As far as we can tell, Drops share characteristics with the anomalous organism Monommy that they attract. For instance, a Drop with antlers might attract an anomalous organism Monommy that also has antlers. Due to this, it is currently believed that one can gauge the level of threat based on the organism that may be attracted to the location of a Drop. We believe the anomalous lifeform Monommy to be causing these events to be the one that refers to itself as ‘Disastmy’. As Twin Star has been saying since the day the sky first tore, all anomalies, due to their reality changing nature, should be avoided at all costs. Many of these organisms are capable of speech and may even seem friendly, but no matter how benevolent or harmless one may seem, they are all capable of inflicting severe injuries and causing death. Thankfully, at least this one in particular shows no such means of attempts at being friendly.
It is *VITAL* that all staff on shipyards, airports, oil rigs, factories, train stations, nuclear facilities, or any facility that houses large machinery or vehicles to keep an ever watchful eye out for grey Drops that appear to be wearing a navy blue pilot’s cap and an eyepatch. This Drop is known to be the offspring of the anomalous lifeform Monommy that refers to itself as Disastmy. Of anomalous lifeforms currently in Twin Star’s database, Disastmy is the only one known to seek out these facilities with the express desire to sabotage them, usually resulting in the deaths of most if not all of the workers present. CEASE ALL WORK IMMEDIATELY AND EVACUATE THE PREMISES IF A DISASTMY DROP IS PRESENT.
Steps to avoid a potential encounter with Disastmy:
1. Immediately report and destroy any Disastmy Drop if one is seen
2. Immediately report and destroy any unattended wrench. A wrench in a place it should not be is a sign that Disastmy is in the immediate vicinity. As such, any unattended wrench should be immediately disposed of, and the facility evacuated until it is proven that Disastmy is not at the site. We understand the frustration this may cause, but please remember lives are at stake
3. Immediately report to a supervisor if you hear a voice in your left ear telling you ‘that’s good enough’, *especially* if it sounds like a coworker.
4. Immediately cease all functions of the facility if a tiny wrench is found anywhere. A good measure of what a tiny wrench constitutes is, if it’s too small for a person to use, its anomalous. Destroy it immediately. These tiny wrenches are almost always attached anomalously to a Disastmy Drop.
Please inform your employees of this as soon as possible. This world needs no more destruction. If you have any information as to the whereabouts of Disastmy, or any person working alongside it, report it to Twin Star immediately.
Twin Star is currently still undergoing research to ascertain exactly how many anomalous organism Monommy exist, and their properties and capabilities. Thank you for doing your part to keep the world safe from these abominations. Should I change this? I thought the Monommy classified anomalies were separate from abomination classed. Unless someone upstairs is starting to believe what that thing is telling them.
I’ll be honest, man. As soon as we save the world or whatever, I never want to work for this company again.